So I was going to tell you all about the 2012 Topps Heritage set.
How it’s printed on sturdy throwback non-glossy stock, practically begging you to say “Got it, got it, got it, need it” while you thumb through a stack.
How cards numbered 426 through 500 in the set are short printed, in tribute to the hard-to-find high-number series in the 1963 set.
How it recreates some of the obscure errors and variations of the original 1963 set by introducing equally obscure analogues. (Would you prefer a Ryan Madson team name in yellow, or a Ryan Madson team name in black? Before you answer, you should know that the black version will set you back 100 bills.)
But really all of that detail is trumped by one simple fact: There are three Chris Schwinden rookie cards in the set (card numbers 191, 204, and 362).
That is just great gobs of Schwinden.
It is enough Schwinden to seriously fuzz your schnizz up.
It’s ‘S chwindenful! ‘S marvelous!
The set is a long and Schwinden road.
The other 497 cards in the set? All they are is dust in the Schwinden. They are gone with the Schwinden.
Suffice to say, 2012 Topps Heritage is the gosh darn Schwindenest set that ever was…