But our tokens of compliment and love are for the most part barbarous. Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only gift is a portion of thyself.
Thou must bleed for me. Therefore the poet brings his poem; the shepherd, his lamb; the farmer, corn; the miner, a gem; the sailor, coral and shells; the painter, his picture; the girl, a handkerchief of her own sewing. This is right and pleasing, for it restores society in so far to its primary basis, when a man’s biography is conveyed in his gift, and every man’s wealth is an index of his merit.
With that being said, here are my gifts for the Mets for the upcoming year:
Vic Black – Continued good luck with his HR rate. Black seemed to be a solid reliever but his xFIP checked in last year at 4.70 in the majors. Amazing with a 4.0 HR/FB rate will do for a fellow.
Bartolo Colon – An unlimited supply of stem cells, or whatever it is that makes him so stingy with walks (1.37 BB/9 last year).
Ike Davis – When Davis came up, he would flip over railings to catch balls. Last year we sat in stunned silence as he absolutely refused to field a ground ball, instead watching it go by him as the umpire signaled fair. It’s simplistic, but Davis’ gift is effort – something we’d like more proof of him giving in 2014.
Lucas Duda – A manager to write his name in the starting lineup at first base for 140 games and otherwise leave him alone.
Josh Edgin – Freedom from being typecast as a LOOGY. As Tim Byrdak and Pedro Feliciano can tell you, the role is dangerous for your health. Also, in 64 PA versus righties last year, Edgin limited them to a .606 OPS and only two extra-base hits, both doubles.
Dillon Gee – The return of his 2012 K%
Curtis Granderson – The freedom not to swing for the fences every time up. We are big fans of doubles and triples, too, and would love to see a 38-23-23 line like he put up in 2007.
Juan Lagares – A year where runners continue to try to take the extra base on him. It’s such fun to watch Lagares charge the ball and come up firing.
Jenrry Mejia – Good health to make 30 starts.
Daniel Murphy – An implant that delivers a high-voltage shock every time he tries to hit the ball the other way when he’s ahead in the count. Last year in the 108 PA where he pulled the ball, Murphy had a .343 AVG and a .657 SLG mark. Let’s see more of that guy in 2014.
Jonathon Niese – A consistent season with results like he had at the end of 2013. In his last nine games, Niese had a 2.70 ERA, a 1.233 WHIP and a 3.64 K/BB ratio.
Bobby Parnell – The ability for Mets fans to appreciate him. Parnell was terrific in 2013 but for whatever reason, people still consider him a tad shaky on the mound. All he did last year was post a 2.16 ERA, a 1.000 WHIP and a 3.67 K/BB ratio – numbers that would not look out of place on Mariano Rivera’s Baseball-Reference page.
Josh Satin – PA at the top of the order. It makes no difference that he’s slow and playing an infield corner position – it’s a mistake to bat him lower in the lineup. Maximize the OBP that he gives.
Ruben Tejada – A quick start. Tejada went from a fan favorite to a guy we couldn’t wait to replace almost overnight. It looks like we’re stuck with one another so a big April would go a long way towards restoring our faith in our homegrown shortstop.
Zack Wheeler – Lots of starts versus the Braves. Wheeler was 3-0 with a 2.89 ERA in three starts against Atlanta this past season.
David Wright – Meaningful games in September.
Chris Young – An everyday spot in the lineup. Injuries kept him from a full season the past two years and the meme has developed that he’s a platoon player. The last time he played a full season, he put up a 4.5 fWAR.
Eric Young – Contentment with a 250-PA role on the club.
Sandy Alderson – The consequence-free opportunity to tell Jeff Wilpon to his face what he really thinks of him.
Terry Collins – A luxurious retirement mansion in the city of his choice.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of the readers here at Mets360! We experienced tremendous growth once again last year and I’m very happy that you come to our site on a daily basis. And I’d like to give an extra special thanks to loyal readers like Chris F., pete, Name, Metsense, NormE, Jerry Grote, AJ, TexasGusCC, eraff, Za, Metstheory22 and blastingzone – who comment on so many of our stories. Your contributions add to the site and make us all better writers. And finally, thanks to all of the writers at the site.
This is my fifth Christmas wishes article. To see gifts from the previous years click on the following links: