As this is being typed, the Mets have a five-run lead on the Washington Nationals. They built it on the strength of five extra-base hits, none of them homers. Michael Conforto has hit his first triple of the year and Daniel Zamora has just escaped a bases-loaded jam.
This is coming to you in progress, due to the fact that I am now being kidnapped for my bachelor party.
Would someone be so kind as to finish this off for me when it’s done? I’d appreciate it.