Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
I’ve been around for a long, long years
Stole million fan’s soul an faith
And I was ’round when Bud Selig
allowed the juiced-up players rule
Made damn sure that COVID games
caused a paltry 60 gate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
Stuck around St. Petersburg
As no one watched the Rays
changed the ball from hard to soft
and soft to hard based on the game
I rode a frank
memo to the file and rank
When I reduced minor teams
lowered baseball seems
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While the Mets from Queens
Kept the salaries low
From the Madoff Blow
I shouted out
Who Killed Day Baseball?
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for Pre-arbs bats
Who got called up in July
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what’s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every strike is a money grab
And the fans always come back
As heads is tails
Just call me Mr. Manfred
‘Cause I’m in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politics
Or I’ll lay your Sport to waste, mm yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, mm yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, mm mean it, get down
Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Aah yeah
Tell me baby, what’s my name?
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name?
Tell me baby, what’s my name?
I tell you one time, you’re to blame
What’s my name
Tell me, baby, what’s my name?
Tell me, sweetie, what’s my name?

6 comments on “Sympathy for Manfred

  • BrianJ

    Manfred is certainly in need of some restraint.

    Also like the St. Petersburg/Rays line.

    • JohnFromAlbany

      Thanks Brian. Great picture btw.

      Did you see his “proposal” today. It increases the salary cap by like $6M over 4 years and ups the penalties. Hope I am wrong but that’s not a proposal to get the season going. That’s an extended lockout.

  • Jimmy P

    Manfred gets a featured minor role in the film “Screwball,” which is likely still available on Netflix. It’s a nutty documentary on the steroid scandal featuring one very wacky concept, in that all the re-enactments are played by children. You kind of need to go with it.

    However, it’s a fascinating, hysterical account of how zany & stupid & petty & criminal it all was. A-Rod, of course, comes off as a massive douchebag.

    But not to be missed is Manfred’s role in the scandal, passing along bags of hush money. The guy is filthy. A first-class PoS.

    Our commissioner!

    • JohnFromAlbany

      I will have to check that out Jimmy. Thanks.

  • Wobbit

    Only the fans can bring the game closer to something healthy. If they could ever organize around a single goal, boycott the games long enough to break the owner’s hold, and force the game to adopt fair practices for players, we’d have at least a minor chance of something better in the future.

    Otherwise, it will be a billionaire’s club of exploiters and a gradually devolving product on the field… a continuing downward spiral. A few successful, very rich teams and a slough of mediocre, snowball’s-chance teams steadily losing fan support.

  • TexasGusCC

    Pretty cute John. Welcome to the writers’ wing! 🙂

    I realize that Manfred doesn’t have many friends, but we must remember who pays him, and they don’t like bad news… you know what I mean?

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