Justin Turner and Jason Pridie make me happy. They do just what they were hired to do: provide steady defense and the occasional surprising big hit. You can’t really ask more than that.

I LOVE Ronny Paulino. He’s a lefty masher and used correctly – i.e., by anyone NOT named Willie Randolph or Jerry Manuel — he can be a valuable contributor to any team.

I think Willie Harris is a spy, a mole for the Mariners/Braves/Nats/Phillies.

For years, he was a thorn in the Mets’ tuchus, getting a big hit to extend a Nationals’ rally here, making a big Brave catch to stifle a Mets’ walk-off attempt there. It seemed as if his entire career was built on making Met fans grit their teeth and shake their fists. For years, I would pine for one of two things: he’d retire or we’d sign him. Much to my off-season joy, the latter occurred.

Careful what you wish for.

Willie Harris has been nothing but a complete waste of time, attention and bench space. Almost as if he’s decided to continue his avocation, but from the inside this time: he’s STILL destroying the Mets and making the fans howl. If he’s not striking out in the pinch with a runner on third and two outs, he’s mind-numbingly taking it upon himself to jump start the offense. On a night like May 9, with the NYers scratching to re-knot the game at 2-2 in the ninth, he lucked himself into a pinch single. He then immediately reversed his fortunes by taking off on what can most charitably be called an “ill-advised” steal attempt. Of course, he was out from here to Canarsie. Then, of course Troy Tulowitzki happened once again and that was the ballgame.

So now I’m left pining for him to retire again.

Then there are the two OTHER Stooges on the bench, Chin-lung Hu and Scott Hairston. I would hope their days are numbered as well. It looks as though Hu can’t hit his hat size and his glove isn’t Rey Ordonez-style spectacular enough to warrant keeping him around, other than for the entertainment value of his last name. As for Hairston, when he’s in the field, my heart skips when the ball heads his way – and NOT the same way it does when the ball is hit to Carlos Beltran or Angel Pagan. I think he enjoyed the old “Yo La Tengo!” story so much, he decided to act it out every now and then. And he won’t make anyone forget Rusty Staub in the pinch, either.

Do the right thing, Sandy: relegate the Dr. Seuss book that is “Hairston Harris Hu” to the children’s library where it belongs, and bring up a kid apiece to take their place.

One comment on “Mets bench rundown: Willie, say goodbye

  • Brian Joura

    I know you’re right about the underperforming bench trio.

    Yet somehow I’m not worked up about it. If they send Pridie down when Pagan comes back I’ll probably feel differently. But right now I keep thinking that Harris and Hairston can somehow manage to help us. Can’t say I had that feeling with Catalanotto and GMJ last year, though.

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