Dahhhhh Yankees win!
Ugh, unfortunately the Yankees did win last night . If you’re familiar with the grandiose stylings of Yankees’ radio play-by-play man John Sterling, you know how much he has a flair for the dramatic.
While the Mets certainly don’t have the history or the cache of the Yankees’ franchise, we should take some comfort about the wit and wisdom we get from our collective broadcasting teams. While Howie Rose would correctly call a flyout a step in front of the warning track, Sterling would promptly call a HR only to back out from it.
Sterling through all his mumblings and mishaps is one thing, though: entertaining, albeit cheaply.
Sterling’s home runs calls are cheesy, campy and while they are lame, he does get most people to chuckle at his own bemusement. You know his roll call on HR’s (even if you’re not a Yankees’ fan) like:
*An A-Bomb for A-Rod
*Robby Cano, what a ya know? (This regrettably was in full effect last night)
* The Grandy man can, ah the Grandy man can.
There are countless more, as Sterling has a pun-heavy twist for almost every player.
So that got me thinking, what if Sterling was the play-by-play voice of the Mets? What cutesy gimmicks would Sterling employ if called Met’s games? Well, I’m going to give it my best shot and guess how he would call Mets’ home runs if he was the Met’s play-by-play man.
So, here are you’re would-be, cringe-inducing Sterling Mets’ home run calls. Remember the worse the saying is, the more prone it is for Sterling to employ it. Don’t say you were not warned!
David Wright– “David Wright with a Wright-eous home run. Everything is all “Wright” with that bomb!”
Lucas Duda– “Duda, where’s my home run?”
Ike Davis– “Ike, Ike baby!” This was too easy as some have already used this clever word play. (Side note: I’d gladly trade these ramblings if that meant Davis was actually hitting)
Jason Bay– “That ball is on Baywatch, as Jason leaves the park with a long home run!”
Josh Thole– “Thole Moley, it’s a Josh Thole home run!”
Daniel Murphy– “Oh Danny boy, that home run is not Murphy’s law!”
Scott Hairston– “Beam me up Scotty! Hairston with a home run hit a ton!”
Kirk Nieuwenhuis– “Captain Kirk goes deep into space with that moonshot!”
Ruben Tejada– “Tejada they come, Tejada they fall! I’ll have a Ruben home run sandwich!”
I could give you more, but you’re probably a bit nauseous by now. Let’s just be thankful we can rely on Rose for enthusiastic, yet articulate game-calling.
Although, if the Mets win tonight or tomorrow, I wouldn’t mind hearing; “Dahhhh Mets win!” On second thought, just put it in the books!
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Loved the column, Dan.
Since I live outside of NY I depend on MLB Extra Innings for my Mets dosage. I get to listen to GaryKeithRon when the NY feed is picked up.
Otherwise I have to do with the opponents’ announcers. Some are okay, but some are definitely not!
When traveling by car I sometimes picked up Howie on the FAN. He just keeps getting better. When I tune in to CBS and get Sterling/Waldman I contemplate giving up baseball. At least when I get Bosox games Jerry Remy is knowledgeable. It helps make up for
the grating tonal quality and homeritis.
The other day I was watching a Phillies-Dodgers game. The LA road crew went on and on about the quality of James Loney’s defense at the expense of John Mayberry. It was too much! Yes, Loney is a good glove man, but they gave you the feeling that he was the second-coming of Keith Hernandez or Don Mattingly.
All broadcasts/telecasts suffer from some homeritis, but some announcers do try to make an attempt at being somewhat even-handed.
I’ve listened to games where the home announcers don’t even tell you who the pinch-hitter is or the name of the new relief pitcher.
Sorry for the rant. I appreciate G/K/R and Howie even when the Mets are not doing well.
Even if the Mets are really down, GKR keep me tuned in for the full 9. When Ralph Kiner—who ‘taught’ me baseball many, many years ago is on, all the better.
The tools who work in the Bronx make me miss Rizzutto, White, Messer, et al.
Thanks Norm,
And you can add Michael Kay to the list of announcers I loathe. He is so pompous.
I live in Tennessee and have to suffer through the Braves broadcasting crew. It’s the most pompous least informative group you can imagine. I continue to realize why I detest the Braves so much. Two examples. Last Sept I went to the Mets games and on the big score board before first pitch, the Mets trivia was: Did you know the Mets colors come from a combination of Dodger blue and Giant orange? A team with no original history of it’s own. Really….priceless coming from the Boston Braves. It was presented in such a snarky way I couldn’t believe it. Then early this season, I was listening on the radio and they called a Braves fly out to CF as something like: “there’s a fly ball to center, and some guys who’s name is so long is out there I cant read it, and he catches the ball. I can see Bay out there saying hey, new guy whose name I can’t say, you better catch this.”
Chris…
Good comment. But most henious was Phillies announcer Larry Anderson advocating violence against Jose Reyes a few years ago. I can’t believe he was allowed to keep his job by MLB.
Four words: This is !@#$%^& brilliant.