Carlin and Yogi have the same birthday

Two of the greatest observers of the human mind share a birthday today, May 12. Of course, I’m talking about Yogi Berra and George Carlin. Carlin is no longer with us and Berra is 90 today. But after all of us reading this have been long gone, they’ll still be quoting these famous philosophers. Here is a sampling of their takes on all human things:

Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.

If people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, how are you going to stop them?

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

I wish I had an answer to that because I’m tired of answering that question.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

I tell the kids, somebody’s gotta win, somebody’s gotta lose. Just don’t fight about it. Just try to get better.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

So I’m ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

You can observe a lot by just watching.

*****

Happy birthday, George and Yogi. And you, too, Tony Hawk, Steve Smith, Katherine Hepburn and Steve Winwood.