When pictures and video of the press conference to announce the signing of David Stearns materialized, my reaction was shock. Not shock because Steve Cohen finally landed his white whale, as we all knew that was coming. Rather, the shock came from the look of Cohen. My wish would be to hear and see Cohen as little as possible. My guess is that the last time he made the rounds, he was wearing a Mets hat. So, it was quite surprising to see him hat-less. And he had a more hair than expected. And he was rocking the biggest combover since President Trump. It simply was not a good look for him.

As a poor boy, it’s hard for me to wrap my head around one person having a fortune in the $16 billion range, as Cohen does. Sure, it doesn’t mean he can go to the bank and lay his hand on all that money. But it’s hard to fathom that his ashtray money wouldn’t cover the finest hair-care regimen around. His wife’s an attractive lady. It’s surprising that she lets him leave the house looking like that.

My opinion is that he either needs to start a hair-growth treatment immediately or shave it off completely. It’s not too different from choosing to chase a 95-win team or tank for a better draft pick. Few want to be in the middle, combing your hair over to create the illusion that you’re not going bald. Or that your 75-win team is one player away from the playoffs.

13 comments on “Addressing the elephant in the picture

  • TexasGusCC

    Is this Brian, or was the site hacked?

  • Nm6986

    So funny Gus. Was thinking the same thing. I guess writing almost very night is finally taking over. ‍♂️

  • Mike W

    Yeah, it is a bit odd.

    • David dillon

      I agree with your assessment… I also asked myself who in the Fk wears a suit jacket / sports coat on top of a sweat suit top.. Is he facing off to Planet Fitness after the press is b/c no one judges there

  • Leslie Elliott Elkins

    If this article is any indication of what we readers can expect in the future ,I think I will pass. Personal attacks on the finest owner the Mets have ever had is both tasteless and offensive.

    • José Hunter


      As a former member of this here motley crew, and because I can truthfully say that I might actually not have negative feelings for those I do not know, I strongly ask you to reconsider both your assessment and your decision.

      I can honestly say that Brian and his crew are the most intelligent and articulate bunch in this genre, and not at all predisposed to “tasteless and offensive” behavior.

      Further, and believe it or not, I enjoy reading here because I consistently feel like the resident remedial student when it comes to the topics of discussion. For me, it’s a feeling that is extremely rare – or even non-existent – especially given my level of academic achievement.

      And, since you didn’t ask, I’ll tell you anyway

      I have earned real college degrees in the following:
      Undergrad: both Chemistry and Physics
      Graduate: Mathematics

  • Metsense

    One player wouldn’t to make a 75 win team turn into a playoff team. I don’t think Cohen thinks that either. I work for the 1%. If they want something then they get it. Money is no object. It is very hard for common people , like you and I, to wrap our heads around this. I have experience this behavior many times. For instance you and I wouldn’t sign two aging star to an average $43m contract but a $16 Billion would. You and I would spend that money differently. He gave a blank check to Eppler to deliver a perennial winner. Eppler made foolish moves (like the Gott trade and Narvaez signing). Eppler didn’t deliver and Cohen was embarrassed. Stearns has the same blank check and the same pressure on him. Cohen doesn’t care about the money he cares about the results.

    • Brian Joura

      If money is no object, we should have the best player available at every position. That means no Baty, no Vientos, no Marte, no Stewart, no Vogelbach, no Mauricio, no Butto, no Lucchesi, no Megill, no Peterson, no option relievers.

      Money always matters.

      And FWIW, I would have signed Scherzer and Verlander.

  • T.J.

    Slow news day in Metsland lol.

    Uncle Steve is a man of the people, right down to the hair game, and even with that bankroll!

  • NYM6986

    Finest owner the Mets have ever had is not remotely believable. First owner to have no financial constraints is more like it. Exactly what has Cohen accomplished in year 3 of his 5 year plan?

    • Brian Joura

      uh-oh Steven, you said something about Cohen that wasn’t over-the-top positive. The crazies are going to put you on their list.

      • José Hunter

        Brian, then I am the lead candidate for a huge target.

        What bothers me most about Slippery Steve is the $6B fine he payed for some of his financial “naughty” behavior. I admit that I don’t understand much about economics and such, but those whom are as innocent and pure as the driven snow don’t seem likely to cough $6B in fines without significant protest

        Also, he seems especially hostile to a certain unnamed stock with which I have enjoyed a 400% increase in my investment in a mere few years.

        I guess that, in a manner totally analogous to a fairly recent national election for high office, the best I can say about Steve is that he’s not a Wilpon

        • Brian Joura

          I’m glad that Cohen owns the Mets. I believe he wants to win the World Series and he’s willing to put the money up to get that done. Those are two great traits for an owner.

          But no one is above criticism. And some of these Cohen fanboys are bootlickers of the highest order and feel the need to constantly defend this billionaire they’ve never met. Hey, people are strange and as my mom used to tell me – It takes all kinds.

          It’s my opinion that Cohen needs to STFU, get out of the way and let his baseball people run the show. Neither Joan Payson nor Nelson Doubleday used that personal pronoun “I” when talking about the Mets and the going-ons anywhere remotely close to the degree that Cohen does. I recognize that he owns the team and he has the right to do with is as he pleases. But if his ultimate goal is to win the World Series, he would be best served by following the blueprint of the two owners in club history who’ve won it all.

          I’m not a fan of the idea of a PoBO. But if David Stearns can get Cohen to realize that his billionaire-self isn’t some baseball savant who knows best about everything in regards to his team, well, then it’ll be a great hire.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 100 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video, document, spreadsheet, interactive, text, archive, code, other. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop file here